What do writers do while waiting for their book to become a NY Times bestseller?

Okay, what do I do while waiting for my book to become a bestseller? Let me rephrase that: What do I do while finishing my one-day-soon bestseller?

Some people are still teachers (I gave that up when marking tests became a pain). Some are on the dole (we don’t have that in South Africa). Some wash cars or pack groceries. Hmm. Maybe next week.

In the meantime, I edit other people’s books. I rewrite, polish and proofread the books of others. And while I am crossing the Ts and dotting the things that need dots, I am thinking: “I should be doing this on my own book”. And then I swear that I’ll not do another book edit. And then the fridge magically becomes empty (again!) and I take on another job.

But, worse yet, I ghost write books and blogs for others who ghostwriter

a) cannot do it but want others to think that they can,

b) are too lazy, or

c) just want to keep me from writing my bestseller. They figure that as long as I am writing stuff for them, I won’t be writing my own genius-work and that will leave more room for them at the top.

I suspect the answer is c).

And I’m done with doing work for others while neglecting my own writing. Perhaps my writing is not bestseller material, but at least it is mine. Writing my own mediocre stuff knocks the socks off writing books with titles like How to Prevent Identity Theft (35k words) and my all-time favorite 12 Reasons Why Kefir is Better for You Than Yoghurt (10k words). Seriously, I have written books like that for other people. And, sad to say, I got money for it. On second thoughts, I would never have done it if there weren’t a substantial amount of money involved.

So, when you browse Amazon and think “Who on earth would want to write a book on 101 laundry tips”, remember that nobody wants to write a book like that. Some poor idiot-wannabe-writer is just trying to make a living while waiting for the Titanic to return to harbour. And, just for your information, and because I want to protect you, don’t believe everything you read in a book from Amazon. Most of the books are NOT written by professionals – or even people who give a shyt about the topic. It’s about making money. Nothing more. Even in my case . . . amish

But that is changing as of today. I’m going to plant vegetables and sew my own clothes and fix my own car and bake my own bread. Then I will be able to afford to sit here all day and do what I love most – write my books.

And you thought I was going to say blogging!?

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